In the summer of 1960, ground was broken for construction of the permanent church and rectory. A year later the rectory was ready for occupancy. The pastor and his assistant moved in from the "green house." The nuns at once moved into the vacant rectory. They were very happy with their new "convent" and immediately set up housekeeping. It took nearly a month before all of the finishing touches were complete.
The six sisters who moved in: Sister Mary Catherine, Sister Mary Alma, Sister Mary Louise, Sister Mary Christopher, Sister Mary Lawrence, Sister Mary Paul and Sister Mary David. The other four continued to commute from the Mother House in a new station wagon that had been purchased by the parish.
On Jan. 20, President John F. Kennedy was inaugurated. This gave an opportunity to offer a free day for the school children, giving the Sisters a greater opportunity to get settled in their new parish convent.
In July, to the delight of everyone, the permanent church was dedicated. Archbishop Gerald T. Bergan proudly did the honors, assisted by the pastor and his new assistant Father Talbert, recently ordained in June, who was sent to Christ the King to replace Father John McCaslin.
The new church was constructed of Colorado red rock. It sat on something of a pedestal, with a row of small beautiful magnolia trees on either side.
Near the entrance of the structure is a bell tower of white marble. A crucifix with a life-size corpus on it is mounted on the front near the top. On the front of the bell tower is etched, in gold-leaf lettering, an inscription:
OUR LORD, JESUS CHRIST, ETERNAL HIGH PRIEST AND UNIVERSAL KING, OFFERS HIMSELF ON THE CROSS AS AN IMMACULATE OBLATION.
As if to balance the bell tower, there stands on the opposite side and near the rear of the church a smoke stack of similar design and construction. Directly in front of the main entrance is a large concrete screen that is reflected throughout the plant in various ways.
The openness and vivid colors invite one to reach out for details. The royal blue carpet brought to mind a nostalgic remembrance of the lobby and trim around the dance floor of our original "dance church." The idea of an air-conditioned church also came from the memory of Peony Park. Once inside it could be seen how a series of right hyperbolic paraboloids (inverted umbrellas) could carry away roof drainage through the pipes in the stems of each roof support. Eaves were no longer necessary.
The general theme of the entire structure is "Life of Christ," with emphasis on His royalty. The sanctuary is the heart of the Church. It points up specifically the time and life of Christ when He instituted the Mass, the focal point of our Catholic religion.
The main altar where the sacrifice of the Mass is offered, made of Indiana limestone, was moved from the temporary church. The crypt, in red levant marble, with a combination symbol of God's perfections, is on the front.
The Last Supper is represented in a life-size ceramic sculpture just behind the altar. It receives central billing, to use a common expression, because it was at the Last Supper when Jesus told his disciples, "Do this in memory of me." That is precisely what we do at the altar.
Dusting and polishing the faces of Jesus and his apostles has removed the "original sunburned look," which needs replacing from time to time. You may note that Judas is the only one who appears to be distracted from the words of Our Lord's last dinner speech.
Behind and above the altar on the pre-cast screen is an inscription that generally says it all:
"JESUS TOOK BREAD, BLESSED IT AND GAVE IT TO HIS DISCIPLES"
The communion rail, a gift of the grade school children, is constructed of polished white Cherokee marble with black granite trim.
As you enter the main entrance of the church, in the far front on your left, is the Hal Mary Shrine, which mirrors Mary's feminine personality. Its singular design is appropriate for "Nautre's Solitary Boast."
The material of this altar is Indiana sandstone. A beautiful imported carved-wood statue was transferred from the temporary church. Behind the statue is a mural depicting the phrases of the Hail Mary along with a final hint of souls dedicated to her going to heaven.
It is all a most devotional place to get away from it all and meditate of the life of her Son and her response to it all, the "Magnificat" (Luke 1:46).
On the opposite side outside the sanctuary is the Shrine of St. Joseph. Strong, simple lines of the altar characterize the foster father of Christ as the "pillar of families." This altar is constructed of Indiana limestone.
The statue of St. Joseph and the background scene have been part of our parish from the beginning. The church did not issue from an invory tower. Rather, it was developed, you might say, through the carpenter shop where St. Joseph earned the title "patron of the working man."
The universality of his patronage is illustrated in the mural of farms, factories and various professions: the physician, the draftsman, the attorney and so forth.
When the church opened, one of the dentists noted that the dental profession was not represented on the background screen. WHen asked about this omission, he was told that on that day the dentist must have had jury duty.
To the left of the altar in bold figures on the planed background is the message:
"To endure is the lot of those who follow closely as soldiers of Christ."
The large blue crucifix that hung above the behind the altar in the temporary church was moved to the choir loft in the permanent church, where it hangs to this day. It is just another remnant of our beginning in the temporary church after we left Peony Park.
These are the creation of Harold Rambusch Company of New York. Figures, sand blasted in small squares of stained glass, set in a lead base, contribute the aded beauty of a mosaic. It was the pastor's assignment to search 20 incidents in the life of Christ that related to His kingship and His royalty. Rambusch then created the scenes in the windows. Because the organ might overshadow windows in the choir loft, it was decided to give that section of the windows to the psalmist David and his harp and also Pope Gregory the Great, father of Gregorian chant.
The scene above the main altar is a quotation from the Book of Revelation:
"WORTHY IS THE LAMB WHO WAS SLAIN TO RECEIVE POWER AND DIVINITY AND WISDOM AND STRENGTH AND HONOR. TO HIM BE GLORY AND EMPIRE FOREVER AND EVER."
Book of Apocalypse (Revelation) 5:12
Each station of the cross is an original in ceramic china. Both colorful and emotional, these stations were brought over from our temporary gym church. The pastor's task was to provide the interior decorators with a title and scripture prayer to accommodate the space alloted for each station.
Wording above the rectory-side confessional:
"Go, and now sin no more"
John 8, 11.
Wording above the confessional on west side of the church:
"Thy sins are forgiven thee."
Mark 2,5
Archbishop Gerald T. Bergan came to the beautiful setting in the summer of 1961 to dedicate the Church of Christ the King. Hundreds fo clergy, religious and parishioners attended. Sisters of the Servants of Mary were sprinkled throughout the crowd. The ceremony ended with a beautiful rendition by the adult choir of the beautiful hymn, "Te Deum," a hymn of praise and thanksgiving that echoed in the hearts of all.
Schoolchildren, too, took particular pride in the ceremony. They had contributed no less than $3,000 to pay for the communion rail. The new church meant an adjustment in their lives also, because they now would march to the church for Mass from the school, which was especially difficult in inclement weather. All ceremonies took on a new beauty in the new surroundings and added to the glory of God.
In 1961 at the request of the pastor, the Knights of Columbus Council 5045 proceeded to form a Nocturnal Adoration Society in the Parish of Christ the King. Grand Knight Bernard Keppers appointed Sir Knight Ben Pfeiffer president of the unit. Members of the council became members of the Nocturnal Adoration Society, with George Rosness in charge.
Purpose of the Nocturnal Adoration Society:
This all hearkens back to when Jesus invited his disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane to give them an opportunity to begin deepening their relationship and their love for Him. After that the apostles spent much time with Jesus watching and praying with Him. They learned to know that when He said, eat, He was saying it in the sense of feeding regularly upon His personality - a spiritual feeding.
When Jesus told the crowd those words, some walked away with Him no more. Jesus asked His apostles, "Will you also go?" And their answer was, "You have the words of eternal life, Lord, where shall we go?"
This is a call to digest, to absorb totally the spiritual message of Jesus. This is an expression of a desire for complete union, closeness, such as sometimes one hears people say when they stoop to the colloquial, "I love you so much I could just eat you up." To call this cannibalism is to miss the entire concept. Such a statement is a monumental sign of complete ignorance of the Scriptures. To accept this concept of what Jesus is saying is to recall three gifts of "knowledge" (information about God), the gift of "understanding" (shaping the eyes of faith) and along with the gift of "wisdom" (the ability to give the message of Jesus the highest priority in life).
Nocturnal Adoration one hour a month is hardly adequate for one to make this message of Jesus a part of one's life, but it is a start.
In 1962, the Guild president organized an open house to invite non-Catholics and familiarize them wih our new church. It was something to remember.
On April 15 more than 250 students were confirmed. This was the first Confirmation in our new church and it was s spectacle of reverence are rare beauty. The boys were clad in red robes and the girls in white rboes and red beanies. The blue carpeting and the sunshine streaming through brightly colored stained-glass windows added an indescribable richness.
The former temporary church, meanwhile, would become what it was originally planned to be, a gymnasium and auditorium. The sacristy was no longer usable as a classroom, so the audiovisual room was again a classroom. Filled to capacity, our school had no more room for expansion so efforts were now concentrated instead on interior improvements. Each classroom was equipped with a handsome speaker stand, and hundreds of library books were now our own. A new program was launched with much enthusiasm and optimism - a trophy case installed in the main hall of the school awaited the happy results of the new venture.
The Archbishop noticed that our school was overcrowded and announced plans for a new parish west of Christ the King.
In December our long-awaited flagpole was erected in front of the school, a very impressive ceremony attended by the whole student body. "Old Glory" was raised for the first time over Christ the King School. Our first flag had flown over the capitol in Washington, D.C., and was presented to the school by COngressman Glenn Cunningham.
Keeping pace with our regular enrollment was the large number of students who registered for religious instructions on Saturday. This was our CCD class. The group was composed for the most part of pupils on our waiting list who could not be accommodated in our school. By the end of the school year, they numbered more than 400.
On April 18, 1963, Christ the King eighth-grader David Bremser, 13, was playing in an organized baseball game after school. While batting and wearing a helmet, he was struck by a pitched ball just below the ear. He was taken to the hospital, unconscious. David had been accepted for school the next year in Creighton Prep. His parents, Lyell and Betty Bremser, had been the first to move into Christ the King Parish, buying the first new house in Green Acres addition. David's father, Lyell, was a widely known KFAB radio announcer for Big Red Football, remembered for his expression, "Man , woman, and child." David seemed to be recovering, but early the next morning he died. The entire parish mourned.
On June 15, 1963, as promised, the archbishop established a new parish, Mary Our Queen. In September of that year the enrollment in our school once again exceeded 800. Sister Mary Audrey was the new principal. Father McDermott, ordained in June, 1963, was assigned to Christ the King Parish and he, along with Father Talbert, spent much time teaching religion in the school.
The tattered Mass kit of mine came to the attention of the president of the Guild. She convinced members of the club that it was time for a new Mass kit. Not only did I receive such a gift but also a new chalice with an onyx knob and a hammered silver base.
Sisters in our school introduced an "ungraded" primary system. Teachers from others schools in the vicinity came to observe it in action and copied it. It was really an innovation developed by our Sisters.
The Archbishop's educational campaign of $60,000 for Christ the King Parish was exceeded by a total of $35,000.
Transportation from the Mother House for the sisters was a problem until Jan. 1, 1964. The bright New Year's Day was made even brighter by an unexpected gift - a new car. It was donated by Mrs. B.A. Calandra. The green Ford club wagon that was presented to the Sisters that evening was perhaps not a style they would have chosen, but they were more than grateful for the convenience of having a car of their own. And the more they used it, the more they appreciated its practical features.
Enrollment had risen to 860. We were all praying to ease the squeeze. Six new classrooms were added.
In September 1965, Sister Mary Louise was anything but "new" in the school. She was a pioneer who from the beginning taught first grade.
This year she moved into the front office to become the school's fourth full-time principal, replacing Sister Mary Audrey. Sister Mary Louise led a staff of 12 nuns and 14 lay teachers. Every room in the school was now in use.
Archbishop Bergan was aware that when a subordinate did a good job, it was a credit to him and to his management. He once confided in me that he intended to name a new parish in honor of Leo A. Daly for his contributions to Christ the King Parish and to the Archdiocese. He indicated also at that time that he would name a new parish in honor of my patron saint, Saint Robert Bellarmine.
Early in 1966 Archbishop Bergan let it be known that a new parish called St. Robert Bellarmine would be established in June, and that Father Eugene Kerwin would be the founding pastor. That was the good news we had been waiting for. Father Kerwin immediately set out to help us in any way he could because students who were in the area designated for St. Robert were accepted in Christ the King School for the coming year.
The ungraded primary was now in its third year, and it was well-established and working well. With some efficient planning aond coordinating of efforts between the school and the rectory, the priests were again able to assist in teaching religion regularly.
Beside teaching in school, Sisters handled the altar boys, and couple of rhythm bands and French classes. A few of the Sisters were active in the urban apostolate, while two signed up for teen-age guidance in the Job Corps. There was hardly a dull moment in the parish.
By May, the audio-visual room had been partially converted into the David Bremser Memorial Library, thanks to a monumental boost by the ladies of the Guild.
A substantial number of sixth-grade girls were enthusiastic about a group called "homemakers club" dreamed up by Sister Mary Karen. A few hours each week were devoted to learning something about cooking, sewing, good grooming, hair styling, etc. Soon a long waiting list to join the club attested to its success. Even the boys wanted to join.
Students in general launched an all-out drive to collect trading stamps. Goals were set high. Again the group managed to acquire enough stamps for the school to acquire three new Zenith TV sets equipped for educational purposes. This brought MOEBA (Metro Omaha Educational Broadcasting Association) into our school.
Looking back over the whole scout program, there were many high-adventure days. Thirty-five scounts in 1966 and five dad took a weeklong trip to the Canadian boundry waters out of Ely, Minnesota, with transportation provided by a charter buss. The scouts camped out on various islands in the lake counry and saw loons, geese, black bears and other wildlife as they passed through the Canadian mountains.
It took many parents to make this scouting program possible. Many of the boys would grow into stalwart men and productive contributing citizens such as lawyers, computer experts, physicians, dentists, business men, even West Point graduates and other outstanding community leaders. Feedback from many of these young men will provide much satisfaction and reward to the men who thre their efforts and time into making the scouting possible. Through the years it will be an interesting study to trace these young men and learn from them the satisfaction and reward that came from their scouting experience.
The term is used here to mean "mixing the have-nots with the haves" in grade school education. The desired goal was equality in education. Sociologists in our Archdiocesan education department had a dream to take busloads of children in the inner city back and forth to a few parochial schools in west Omaha. That would give the children the advantage of a quality school with a good teacher. With a little bit of thought, this could have been done without the high cost and the damage done to families involved in providing this desegregation.
The dream became a transportation nightmare for the inner-city parents who wished to attend Parents Club meetings and private sessions with teachers of their children. Children, too, had to forgo after-school tutoring, music and athletics. When their bus drive said "all aboard," they had to climb in or be left behind. Two hours a day on a bus seemed to them a waste of time.
Reports and details of this sociological experiment have been hard to come by, probably because few people wish to be reminded of their failures. We all know that God answers prayers. Sometimes He says "Yes" and sometimes He says "No," but there are times when He may say, "You've got to be kidding." That seems to be what He said to the sociologists who engineered this experiment.
As west Omaha population continued to explode, so did its youth problems. Drugs were entering the picture. It was decided at one of our weekly coffee meetings of the local clergy that it was high time for the clergy to make their influence felt. A representative of each of the three prominent faiths in west Omaha should organize and approach the problem. It was then that the three pastors volunteered to face the music: Pastor Bob Alward, a Congregational minister; Rabbi Sidney Brooks; and "yours truly" taking the lead. We decided to meet weekly and pool our ignorance in this matter of youth problems that had fallen between the cracks of school authorities, parents, clergy and police. To bridge those gaps, we deicded on a program called "Operation Bridge." We filed incorporation papers and raised money to hire a counselor to hit the streets and sort out young people who were hesitant for one reason or another to seek assistance. The rest of the success story of Operation Bridge is history.
In 1967 our school enrollment reached 900. St Robert students were accepted for the coming year. Father Kerwin assisted with instruction on Saturdays.
The David Bremser Library now had more than 1,000 books. "Homemakers Club" for sixth graders got another boost to about 50 girls, with boys still asking to be admitted.
This year 37 scouts and seven dads, including three physicians and a dentist, made the trip on pack horses to the Shadow Mountains of Colorado and camped for a week on Lost Lake at 6,000 feet. Return trip was by charter bus. These scouts buit bridges over streams, rode horses and encountered rain and snow. It was a real "adventure trip."
At Guild meetings, the question kept coming up: "We'd like to give you a gift. What do you need?" My response was always the same, "I have no needs." Finally, one day I said, "All I need is more exercise." After a whole host of suggestions as to how I might get some exercise, not one of them I could ever accept because of time restrictions, a woman suggested that I ride a bicycle. My response to that was, "I don't own a bicycle and if I had one I wouldn't know how to ride it." A quick response came. "Go down to the village and get one that fits you, charge it to my account and start practicing in the large parking lot that we have." I had no alibi. After a few spills I have been riding a bicycle ever since. Later, I even introduced bicycle riding to the boys at Boys Town.
Most people in the parish knoew that I always had a dog, sometimes two. In every language, a dog is always faithful, always loyal, always happy to see you when you show up. When a dog sees you he shows you appreciation. St. Dominic said that we should all be "dogs of the Lord" Who always cared for us. His own name, Dominic, is Latin for "the Lord's dog."
Thanks to Don Boe, who donated one of his paintings of the church, the bell tower and the rectory. On it you may see me walking outside the rectory reading my breviary (prayer book). It was not unusual to have my dog runing around in the yard as I read my breviary. Don had a silhouette of me beside the rectory and my dog pointing to a bird in one of the trees. For years this picture graced the cover of our parish directory. One day a mother was driving her children by the church and one of the little girls said to her, "Look, Mom, Father is reading his Bible to his dog."
There is so much disloyalty in society today between husbands and wives and vice versa, children toward their parents, employers toward their employees and vice versa that every parish ought to have a dog, or maybe a pastor named Dominic, as a constant reminder of the great virtue of loyalty.
On Jan. 30, 1968, ten members of the Parents Club drew up a draft of a constitution and by-laws for a School Board of Education. On Feb. 5, this draft was submitted and approved by a majority of parishioners who attended a meeting of the Parents Club. This board would be responsible for the elementary education program, the religious education of public grade and high school students and the adult education program of the parish.
A second helping of the "Spoons and Spires" cookbook was in the making. This kept the entire parish "tasting and testing" recipes. One of the Circles spent the entire year collecting recipes.
The outstanding success of the Sports Club annual banquet, which funded the sports program, was due largely to one man, the master of ceremonies at our first banquet at Peony Park. He was David Blackwell, sports announcer at KMTV. His colorful comments about characters in the social scene were hilarious and true to life. His off-the-cuff remarks preceding his introduction of the principal speaker set the stage and prepared the crowd for an evening of inspiration and a message to remember.
There is little doubt that his quick wit and way with words was the reason that he was invited back to serve as emcee for 33 years. Although he has since moved to Salt Lake City, he remains a friend of the parish.
Key speakers always pelase the crowd with their example and message. The Sports Club played an important part in our education of the "whole boy" in our parish, and later provided opportunities for girls, too. Following is a list of the principal speakers as they appeared at the Sport Club banquets:
Bob Devaney (1965)
Tom Heinsohn (1966)
Ara Parseghian (1967)
Ray Nitschke (1968)
Moose Krause (1969)
Eddie Crowder (1970)
Mike Corgan and George Kelly (1971)
Lyell Bremser (1972)
Pat Fisher (1973)
David Blackwell (1974)
Some of the men of the parish assisted one of the Circles in setting up for the Knights of Columbus a special room for their monthly meetings and other activities. The room was adjacent to the small Guild Room and kitche in the church basement. Many spaghetti dinners were served there during the coming year.
The Guild was a study in cooperation. Most projects of any consequence also involved the hands and hearts of husbands, even children of some families. It was the distaff side of the family, however, that sparked the initiative for these family affairs.
There was the construction of the house by one Circle that yielded a neat profit for the Guild. Card parties, square dances, style shows, pancake breakfasts, publication of annual parish directories, and old-fashioned country auction and a gorgeous continental dinner, just to mention a few. It would take an entire volume to do justice to the feverish activities of Christ the King Guild from its inception. Herein beats the heart of our entire parish.
The managerial skills, ability and raw zeal of the first president set the direction and pace for what happened thereafter in the Guild. Her enthusiasm was contagious.
Presidents of the Guild and projects of note:
Mrs. Ed (Jo) Cohen (1953 and 54-55) - The only president to serve two terms. First parish directories were distributed on Christmas Eve.
Mrs. Walter (Kathryn) Knowles (1955-57) - Old-fashioned country auction. Response to death of our assistant pastor, Father James Ladd.
Mrs. D. (Kathleen) Muffitt (1957-58) - Fifth anniversary of parish. Already 26 Circles. The "fabulous fun fair."
Mrs. Norbert (Evelyn) Letter (1958-59) - year of the dance, square, ballroom, bridge tournaments, country auction.
Mrs. John (Annie) Hyde (1959-60) - Children's clothing exchange. More evening Circles.
Mrs. Patrick (Mary) Rensch (1960-61) - Recipe tasting and "Spoons and Spires" cookbook.
Mrs. Frank (Mary) Hannan (1961-62) - Involved Guild with promoting men's stag. First "weekend carnival."
Mrs. I.J. (Marian) Pernicone (1962-63) - Tenth anniversary dance. Open house for non-Catholics to visit and view our permanent church.
Mrs. Ray (Ruth) Prophater (1963-64) - New Mass Kit to replace old and work Navy Mass Kit, along with a new hammered base silver chalice.
Mrs. Kevin (Betty) Cahill (1964-65) - Sponsored movie premier of "My Fair Lady" for all members to view and become "fair ladies" also. Special celebration in May of pastor's Silver Jubilee Anniversary.
Mrs. Betty Quinn (1965-66) - Guild room in church basement became a reality. "Guildgram" newsletter was started.
Mrs. Lee (Jane) Smith (1966-67) - Dressed up the parish social hall in Wild West attire. The place was filled with Hollywood cowboys and Stetson hats, but no cattle. That night would be hard to forget.
Mrs. Betty Hanrahan (1967-68) - Newcomers breakfast after Sunday Masses were regular features for this year.
Mrs. Sam (Carmen) Grasso (1968-69) - Went to press with second helping of "Spoons and Spires." Painting of our church and bell tower donated by parishioners Don Boe was adopted for conver of annual parish directories.
Mrs. Warren (Helen) Washburn (1969-70) - Staged the first Hawaiian Las Vegas fling and later a "Guys and Dolls Laugh-in."
Mrs. Ken (Pat) Naughtin (1970-71) - Latest fashion and style show staged in parish auditorium.
Mrs. Robert (Olive) Schell (1971-72) - With cooperation of men of the parish, set up a serviceable Knights of Columbus room in the church basement.
Months of regular activities in the school and throughout the parish came to an abrupt halt when the pastor made a hurried exit to answer an assignment to become executive director of Boys Town. Martha, too, faithful keeper of the rectory and sacristy, left a number of tasks to her successor.
Cardinal Newman had it right when he said, "Growth is the only sin of life." By his crierion Christ the King Parish had enjoyed 20 years of unprecedented life. Three parishes and a part of a fourth one had been carved out of what was originally Christ the King boundaries.
It might seem that these memoirs emphasize too many details of material growth. However, "Without me you can do nothing" (John 15:5) the Lord, said, and we knew it. Without a strong and vital spiritual base, motivation was stale and sterile. Religion and material growth go hand in hand.
Limits of this publication prohibit listing the names of most of the people who made great contributions to our growth. Every member of our parish was important. Each made his or her contribution as needed. MORE ASSISTANCE CAME THROUGH PRAYER THAN WE WILL EVER KNOW. Ours was a happy congregation of ecclesiastical pioneers.
Assistant Pastors (1955 - 1975) | |
---|---|
Reverend James A. Ladd | 1955-1957 |
Reverend John O. McCaslin | 1957-1961 |
Reverend Thomas D. Talbert | 1962-1966 |
Reverend Leo Quinones | In residence |
Reverend Thomas McDermott | 1965-1968 |
Reverend Gerald Millenkamp | 1966-1969 |
Reverend Leo Raus | 1969-1972 |
Reverend Donald Shane | 1971-1974 |
Reverend William Hettinger | 1972-1975 |
All of the above assistants were good and holy priests. Each brought his special talents to the Parish. One was just as good as another.
Full-Time Principals of our School (1956-1965) | |
---|---|
Sister Mary Henrietta Kuhn | 1956-1959 |
Sister Mary Catherine Rupp | 1959-1969 |
Sister Mary Audrey Jauron | 1963-1965 |
Sister Mary Louise Genest | 1965-1971 |
Sister Mary Ruth Arnott | 1971-1975 |
It was then that, without ceremony, just inside the entrance of the church, that the unveiling of the lasting message took place:
"This plaque is a tribute to the many generous people, young and old, living and deceased, who by their spiritual, moral and material support, and by their manual assistance, built the parish of Christ the King and gave it to Him."
FEAST OF CHRIST THE KING
November 25, 1973
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Take equal parts of patience and unselfishness, and mix well in a day's work. Sift thoroughly to remove all gossip. Use plenty of complaint shortening. Blend in a morning offering until all is smooth. Season with humor to suit taste. If this fails to make a good day, fault is not with the recipe but with the cook.
- Father Hupp